"They’re fucking gross, man. Look, I love beautiful girls too. I think everyone should be free to have their knee socks and their sweaty shorts, but I’m over it. I’m over this weird, exhausted girl. I’m over the girl that’s tired and freezing and hungry. I like bossy girls, I always have. I like people filled with life. I’m over this weird media thing with all this, like, hollow-eyed, empty, party crap."
So, I should be studying for finals. I should be revising papers, memorizing facts, and cramming my already maxed-out brain further than I can handle. But no. Instead, I’m going to write this loving rant:
I miss my beautiful sister. I miss hugging her close every ten minutes upon our reuniting because we both know how much the other has been missed. I miss my rambunctious family. I miss kisses on the cheek. I miss “talking ‘bout the nights that we wanna forget, way back when” with my best friend. I miss drinking red wine (on ice, of course) in the backyard with my mom and sharing intimate tid bits, which I know she cherishes as little secret snippets into my adult life. I miss watching action movies with my dad while my pup snoozes happily in the crook of my arm. I miss waking up to the intoxicating, homely smell of swedish pancakes and the feel of soft carpet beneath my toes as I sleepily pad down the stairs. I miss the long baths, the morning guitar sessions, the endless supply of fresh garden fruits and veggies. I even miss the unmistakable sound of the lawnmower’s early morning drone. All of these things curve my lips into a smile and warm my heart until it’s a glowing ball in my chest.
I’m going to miss the emotional pillow talks. I’m going to miss the groggy morning bike rides to campus. I’m going to miss “makin’ eyes” at the cafe roma boys while they carefully pour my morning coffee. I’m going to miss mid-morning cleaning sessions to the nostalgic sounds of Aretha and Bob D. I’m going to miss Enya yoga. I’m going to miss the exclamations of “Good Morning, beautiful!” that we all seem to have replaced “hello” with. I’m going to miss the shared dinners and endless laughter. I’m going to miss the feeling of anticipation before going to class only because I get to see a certain someone. I’m going to miss barging into my roommates’ rooms and giggling shamelessly as we recount our beautiful (or embarrassing) romantic relations. I’m going to miss grocery excursions to Capella, morning glory breakfasts, and sweet life treats. I’m going to miss singing loudly and out of key to Mariah Carey. I’m going to miss being Lauren’s confidante and the unmistakable feeling of companionship that we share. I’m going to miss Claire’s snorting laugh and the feel of her fingers as she expertly braids my hair. I’m going to miss Jordan’s stanky leg, Kelly’s river dancing, and Mary Kate’s old-timey vocal perfection. I’m going to miss the calendar quotes, the drawn-out, knowing hugs, and relating all of our angst and fashion choices to those of Angela and Rayanne. I’m going to miss Mica’s warm bear hugs and Jenna’s quiet understanding. I’m going to miss making Liz Lemon references that only Allison understands and being consistently impressed by Imogen’s articulate nature. I’m going to miss being an amateur mother, daughter, and therapist. I might even miss being awoken to the sound of Bonnie’s yapping pups. Maybe. Probably not though. All of these things simultaneously mold and melt my heart into a gooey, haphazard mess, held together through the constant prevalence of love, friendship, and understanding.
All of the people (and the many more) who have made this year what it is, I love you so much. Some of you are old treasures that have only grown to be more wonderful with time. Others are new, which makes saying goodbye (or “until next time” as I’ve recently coined) all the more heart-wrenching. All I can say is, I truly look forward to seeing you all grow into even more beautiful people and vicariously participating in the events of your lives. I love you guys, I’ll miss you more than I can bear. I won’t, I can’t, say goodbye to any of you, so instead i’ll say…